Hello everyone,
It’s been a chaotic week here. Between managing a toddler who seems determined to discover the maximum volume of the human voice (honestly, how many times can you say ‘Inside Voice!’ before you actually go insane?) and trying to keep on top of my own workload, I’ve found myself leaning heavily on technology. "Alexa, set a timer," "Siri, remind me to buy milk," "Google, why won't my child sleep?" (Okay, maybe not that last one, but we’ve all been there!).
We live in an age of incredible convenience. From the abacus to the iPhone, we have always built tools to extend our reach and speed up our tasks. But lately, I’ve been reading some fascinating (and slightly terrifying) research suggesting that while the "pitch" of modern tech is convenience, the result might actually be dependency.
We are witnessing a shift where technology isn't just helping us do things; it's replacing our ability to do them at all. This "Dependency Engine" removes the friction from our lives. And while friction sounds bad (nobody likes a slow internet connection), in terms of our brains and development, friction is actually how we grow.
Here is what the data says about how this "frictionless" life is impacting our children, and what we as parents can look out for.
1. The "Google Effect" and Digital Amnesia
How many phone numbers do you know by heart? Be honest.
Research suggests we are suffering from "Digital Amnesia". We no longer retain facts; we just remember where to find them (usually Google). A massive 91.2% of us now view the internet as an "online extension of our brain".
The worry here isn't just about forgetting trivia. It’s about our connections. The data shows that while nearly 70% of us can recall our partner's phone number, only 34.5% of parents can recall their own children's phone numbers. In an emergency where your phone battery dies, that "convenience" of a contact list suddenly becomes a critical vulnerability.
2. The Struggle with Handwriting (It’s Not Just About Messy Work)
As a teacher, I’ve noticed this, and it seems I’m not alone. 75% of teachers believe children’s ability to hold a pencil or use scissors has worsened over the last decade.
We are seeing a rise in "bendy thumbs" and hand fatigue because children are growing up swiping screens rather than climbing trees or playing with building blocks. There is a direct link between this lack of physical play and the decline in handwriting speed.
It even extends to shoe laces! 69% of educators report that students are struggling more with tying their shoes compared to five years ago. If a child lacks the dexterity to tie a knot, they will likely struggle to sustain the physical act of writing during an exam.
3. The Smart Speaker Trap
I love a smart speaker as much as the next person, but for our kids, they can be a bit of a "black box."
In the past, calculators helped us verify an answer. Today, smart speakers act as "Oracles" that just give us the answer. A poll found that 43% of parents of 6-to-8-year-olds say their kids use voice assistants for homework.
The danger here is that asking "What is 7 times 6?" and hearing "42" bypasses the cognitive engagement entirely. It dampens the development of "estimation skills"—that gut feeling that tells you an answer is wrong. Alarmingly, because these devices have human-sounding voices, 2/3 of children believe they might actually have feelings or can think for themselves.
Reclaiming the "Friction" (A bit of theory!)
I know this all sounds a bit gloomy, but the solution is actually quite empowering. We need to re-introduce a bit of "friction" into our children's lives.
There is a concept in psychology called the Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD), introduced by Lev Vygotsky (my favourite developmental psychologist. Way better than Piaget. I will die on this hill!). It sounds fancy, but it’s actually really simple. Imagine three circles:
Things your child can do alone (Too easy = boredom).
Things your child can’t do at all (Too hard = anxiety/giving up).
The ZPD: The sweet spot in the middle where they can do it, but only with a bit of struggle or help.
Friction is simply the feeling of being in the ZPD.
When technology removes the friction, it kicks our kids out of that "growth zone" and back into the "too easy" zone. When Alexa answers the maths question, there is no struggle, and therefore no learning. The brain needs that moment of "Ugh, this is hard..." to actually wire the new connections.
So, perhaps this week, we can try turning off the GPS for a local trip, or banning the calculator for the shopping list. Let’s help our kids embrace the struggle.
Until next time, take care of yourself; check in on your friends; and remember: you can do this. You're awesome!
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