Hello everyone!
I hope this finds you well and that you’re managing to stay sane amidst the whirlwind of school runs, clubs, and the ever-encroaching digital world. I swear, parenting sometimes feels like being a plate-spinner in a gale; you’re just hoping nothing shatters while you’re busy checking the homework diary!
Before we get into the blog-proper, I want to share with you some updates. First of all, you've probably noticed that the blog is now called 'Mr M's PTA' - all of the old posts are still available, but the name change is to better align the blog posts with both the podcasts -which are back, and available on any podcast platform - and the brand new YouTube channel (which is causing me no-end of headaches, both figurative and literal!). Exciting times indeed. Do check them both out by following the links above.
Okay, here we go...
Today, I’m putting on my "assessment nerd" hat to talk about something a bit more serious: school-based bullying. We’ve all heard the old "sticks and stones" adage, but contemporary research is showing us that peer victimisation is a significant public health crisis that can leave lasting biological and psychological "welts" well into adulthood.
What are we actually looking at?
It's easy to think of bullying as just "kids being kids," but for it to be classified as bullying, it needs three critical ingredients: intentionality, repetition, and a fundamental imbalance of power. This power differential isn't just about who's the biggest on the playground; it can be about social popularity or even having access to embarrassing information.
Here’s a quick breakdown of the "modalities" we're seeing:
Verbal & Relational: This is actually the most common form. It includes things like "sending someone to Coventry" or social exclusion, which can be devastating for a child’s self-esteem.
Cyberbullying: The boundaries of the school day have dissolved. This form is particularly pervasive because it follows our children into their bedrooms at night, leaving no sanctuary.
Prejudicial: This is rooted in societal biases, with targeted groups (like those with SEND) being at a significantly higher risk.
Spotting the "Welts"
As parents, we're the first line of defence. Sometimes the signs aren't obvious bruises. Look out for psychosomatic markers like chronic headaches, stomach aches, or unexplained injuries. This is often the body’s stress response system going into overdrive, leading to "learned helplessness" where a child feels their situation is inescapable.
What can we do?
We need to move from "impotent knowledge"—knowing there’s a problem but feeling we can't do anything—to "empowered knowledge".
Open the Dialogue: Just like I do with long division in Year 6, we need to take the "maths" out of it and focus on the "why". Ask your children if they feel "mad, sad, or glad" about their school day.
Challenge the "Normal": Don't accept mediocrity or a "toxic" environment. If your child is struggling, they shouldn't have to "put a smile on their face"—it’s incredibly damaging to ignore their distress.
Collaborate with the School: Schools have institutional mandates to handle this. Don't be afraid to hold them to their policies. If a policy is consistently failing to improve achievement or safety, it should be reviewed.
Bullying is a systematic abuse of agency, but by understanding the mechanics, we can help our children find the pathways toward resilience and recovery. This is why I write about it a lot. You can find previous posts, that go into a little more detail, are here and here. I hope they are helpful.
Until next time, take care of yourself; check in on your friends; and remember: you can do this. You're awesome!.
Carl Headley-Morris
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