Hello everyone!
It is that time of year again when the reality of September starts looming large on the horizon. If you are a parent with a child about to start Primary school, you are probably already experiencing that familiar knot of anxiety.
As my own little boy hurtles towards school age (honestly, where does the time go?), I increasingly find myself looking at the education system from the other side of the playground gates.
When your child, particularly one with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), is gearing up to transition into Reception, the worry is very real. You want to make sure the school is absolutely ready for them. In the coming weeks, you will likely have a transition meeting with the new Reception teacher and the SENDCo. It is very easy to sit in those tiny chairs and feel entirely out of your depth.
But you shouldn't. You are the expert on your child.
To help you prepare, I have put together ten targeted questions you can take into these meetings. They are designed to facilitate a professional, rigorous dialogue and ensure your child gets the absolute best start, without making you look like the "difficult" parent.
Home & Setting Visits
1. How do you structure home visits to ensure they function as a collaborative partnership rather than an assessment of our home environment?
Let’s be honest, home visits can be terrifying. You spend three days scrubbing the skirting boards and hiding the laundry. But research, such as studies by Callanan, shows that while these visits are highly effective for establishing a baseline and building relationships, the approach must actively mitigate parental stress. You are well within your rights to ask how they plan to make this a genuine partnership, not an inspection of your dusting skills.
2. What specific observations are you prioritising during a nursery setting visit for a child identified with, or suspected of having, SEND?
Early identification of environmental triggers and self-regulation challenges is absolutely crucial. Gathering bespoke information about your child's specific needs before they even step foot in the classroom is a hallmark of good practice. It prevents transitional distress and ensures continuity of care. You need to know exactly what they are looking for so you can fill in any blanks.
3. During the initial settling-in period, how do you balance the child's need for gradual exposure with the practicalities of working parents' schedules?
A gradual, part-time transition timetable is pedagogically sound, but it often completely clashes with the constraints of working parents. Discussing this upfront ensures the school's induction policy is inclusive of your family circumstances without compromising your child's emotional security. It sets a precedent for open, realistic communication.
School Readiness & The Classroom Environment
4. Given the systemic decline in 'school readiness' post-pandemic, how does the Reception team adapt to support children still developing fundamentals like speech and toileting?
We cannot ignore the impact of the pandemic. Up to 54% of primary leaders have seen a reduction in school readiness, with huge cohorts of children struggling with personal care or listening to instructions. The transition must account for this developmental shift. Schools should not be penalising children for a systemic issue; they need to adapt their first few weeks to accommodate it.
5. How do you scaffold the transition from a play-based nursery to the more structured environment of Reception?
Going from child-initiated play to formal Key Stage 1 expectations, like sitting still for phonics, can be a massive anxiety trigger. A sudden loss of play leads to boredom and disengagement (Sanders). Ask them exactly how they integrate play into those early weeks so your child isn't entirely overwhelmed by formal expectations.
SEND Provision & Behavioural Support
6. How do you ensure continuity of support strategies between their previous early years setting and your classroom?
If your child has an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) or is on the SEND register, the last thing you want is the dreaded "cliff edge" of support. Successful strategies utilised in nursery should not just be dropped because they are in "big school" now. Seamless information sharing and transition reports are required to avoid developmental regression.
7. If a child begins to exhibit distressed behaviour in the first few weeks, what is your immediate pedagogical approach?
This is a huge one. Negative or challenging behaviour is frequently a child's way of communicating fear, frustration, or a lack of understanding in a new environment. Parents of children with SEND often worry that transition-related distress will be mislabelled as poor behaviour rather than recognised as an unmet emotional or sensory need. Ask them what their immediate steps are before they drag out the formal school behaviour policies.
8. What low-arousal or quiet spaces are available for children who experience sensory overload?
Mainstream classrooms are loud, bright, and incredibly overstimulating. Ensuring the physical space meets SEND needs—especially for autistic children or those with sensory processing differences—is a primary concern. More importantly, ask how your child will be explicitly taught to access these quiet spaces independently when they feel overwhelmed.
Parental Partnership & Communication
9. How frequently, and through what mediums, do you communicate with parents during the first half-term?
Communication breakdowns are a leading cause of parental dissatisfaction within the SEND system. A quick chat at the school gate is fine, but establishing a robust, predictable feedback loop that goes far beyond the standard parents' evening will alleviate your anxiety and build a strong school-home alliance.
10. How can we best emulate the language and routines you use in the classroom at home?
Consistency between home and school accelerates the settling-in process. We parents are usually eager to help, but we need guidance on how to support early learning goals through play and routine. What you desperately want to avoid is imposing developmentally inappropriate academic pressure too early. Ask them for the specific phrasing they use for transitions or tidying up.
At the end of the day, you and the school are on the exact same team. You both want your child to thrive, be happy, and feel secure. Going into these meetings armed with the right questions doesn't make you an adversary; it makes you an engaged, informed advocate for your child's education. Have a great week, everybody!
Until next time, take care of yourself; check in on your friends; and remember: you can do this.
You're awesome!
Carl Headley-Morris
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